Indian in England

Musings of a student

Friday, July 06, 2007

How to survive the English

I have survived the English for three long winters without – I hope – any permanent damage. I think that makes me something of an expert on them.

This interesting point was brought home when I appeared on an Internet chat for this week (note to my Bournemouth University bosses: I did a good 'plug' and you owe me one). My audience was Indian students looking to study abroad and their deeply concerned parents, all eager to hear about my English experience. Most of their queries were on how to survive here, and I found myself thinking deeply about the various techniques I employed – which was when, rather like Archimedes, I jumped up, struck my forehead, and shouted "Eureka!"

But that alone would not have got me to blog. The deciding factor was the worrisome intelligence that 10 "young, energetic minds of Indian journalism", sponosored by the British Council under the Chevening scholarship programme, were headed for my university. Knowing fully well the peril they would walk once they arrived, not to mention the risks the unwitting English would run by having them around, here are a few tips, lest one harm the other...

IN India it is silly to say 'please'. In England it is silly not to.

No Englishman – or woman – will entertain your request without it; in fact, should you be fool enough to forget the magic word, an Englishman is required by law to put you to painful public death before sundown, or, at the very least, pull himself to maximum height, stare down his nose, and say, with the coldness of an Arctic winter, "I beg your pardon, sir!"

It is common to have five pleases in a four-word sentence. It is expected of you. So, please, start your sentence with a please; end it with another, please.

IF hedging was an Olympic sport, the English would win it every single time.

By 'hedging', I don't mean the act of making hedges (the English are very good at that too), but what is crudely known as 'beating around the bush'. The English are simply marvellous at it. They consider it the height of rudeness to come straight to the point, especially if they have a request of you, and need to prep themselves lavishly with 'hmms', 'hahs', and the weather. As a considerate fellow being, you must entertain this. You must grant them their time. They will make their point – usually within the year.

By the same token, resist the urge to make direct requests. If you want to borrow a pen from someone, it won't do to yell across, "Mind if I use that for a minute?" Start with apologies. Say you are dreadfully sorry for making a nuisance of yourself. Apologise for polluting the air in the same room as the pen-owner. If the mood moves you, inform him you are deeply ashamed of being born, but had no choice in the matter. After five minutes or so in such vain, you may mention the pen in a meandering fashion:

“I was just wondering... um, in normal circumstances I wouldn't even dream of asking you this, but, um, I find myself in a terrible situation today... of course, it is my own fault, and, um, it is really quite silly of me to bother you, I know, but in case you are not using that pen, er, if you can possibly spare it I mean, would you mind terribly if I borrowed it for a minute – only if you don't need it.”

You must look suitably apologetic and embarrassed when you make this request. Also, do note the very last part of that sentence: you must, must leave an honourable exit for the other.

DON'T tell an Englishman to shut up. He will drop dead with shock.

In India ‘Aw, shut up!’, ‘Buzz off’ ‘Drop dead’, ‘Get a life’, etc are considered essentials in any healthy conversation. In England, not.

Trouble with the English is, even in their rudeness they are polite. In India if you want to tell someone their work sucks, you would say (and here I quote my ex-editor-in-chief), “That’s utter crap, you prick. Rewrite it now or I will have your balls for dinner!”

The correct way to put that sentiment across in England, however, is: “Excellent! This is very good work! Very good work indeed! But perhaps you could consider smoothening out the edges a bit? Oh, no, you don’t have to rewrite the whole piece! Just do the lead, and the bit in the middle, and the end, if you can possibly spare the time.”

NEVER jump a queue – and ensure you don’t start one accidentally.

The English are passionate about queuing. They derive immense pleasure from the exercise and are never more content than when they are in a long queue. Nowhere on earth will you see such perfect pieces of art, such warm links of well-spaced personal cubicles with a Daily Mail-reading Englishman or woman in the middle of each (never ‘bunch up’ and crowd the person in front; that’s sacrilege), wonderfully unhurried (never show your impatience; queuing is meant to pleasurable), and gracefully tailing into the wide grey yonder. Seriously, a lot of effort goes into it.

And the English will queue at the drop of the hat. An Englishman will be hurrying home, desperate for his cup of tea and buttered scone, when, lo, he sees you admiring a particularly attractive mannequin. This is where you have to be careful. If perchance you have placed yourself behind some other idiot like yourself, the Englishman will rub his hands gleefully. "Aha," he will say to himself, "there’s a nice little queue there! Let me read the Mail and be happy and content again!”

By the time you turn around and realise your mistake, there will be a solid line all the way to Scotland.

MOST Indians complain about how 'cold' the English are. This isn’t really true. The English aren’t cold, they are just not warm.

It isn’t in the English blood to be overtly friendly. In India five minutes after you meet a stranger it is quite common to invite him home for dinner. In England it will take a few years.

For one, an Englishman considers his house not just his castle, but, as social anthropologist Kate Fox puts it, “the embodiment of his privacy rules … his identity, his main status indicator and his prime obsession”. Naturally he’s careful about who he lets in.

Second, because the English cherish their privacy so much, it doesn’t occur to them you actually look forward to company. In fact, quite often, when you feel they are being ‘standoffish’, they are trying to respect your private space.

When this happens, you must not feel offended and call them 'thanda ferangs’. You must forgive them – remember, they are only English – and show them the correct path by asking them home.

IF an Englishman asks you, “Are you all right?”, do not worry. It’s not because you look sick, or your fly is open (though a discreet check is always advisable). Nor should you take it as an invitation to unburden all your troubles on him. It’s just his way of asking “How are you?”


Should any of you feel compelled to accuse me of intellectual theft from the Hungarian humourist George Mikes, let me say it is not because I am not capable of originality. He just happened to get here first.


Blogger മൂര്‍ത്തി said...

Good One...
Whether it is George Mikes or not...

8:43 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

the "please" word, I agree, but I thot it was more of Kerala etiquette than India.

As for the English who reside here they are the "goras", if you know what I mean


8:53 AM  
Blogger reva said...

Excellent. But, Mikes is funnier :-). And where is the winter in this? Brrr....

6:39 AM  
Blogger Anamika Rath said...

This is so hilarious! I just cannot stop smiling... rather laughing. It is so true.

Good work!

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You need to be aware that the English (as opposed to British) are not very good at 'small talk'. Their solution is to stick to very safe subjects, such as the weather, and to pad conversation out with platitudes. For example 'how are you ...?' The problem is of course is that the weather has become interesting and therefore no longer a subject for 'small talk'. Something else will fill its place, 'interest rates' is a good one. An Englishman is serious but should never be taken seriously or at his or her word. I won't go on I think Chindu has made this point. Another defence mechanism in the area of conversation that you should also watch out for is 'understatement'. A man falls down in the street and has obviously incurred some grievous injury. The Englishman asks "Are you hurt?" to which the reply should be "Oh no, its nothing." Unless of course you are not English in which case the reply could be "Of course I'm f***ing hurt, are you f****ing blind!!!!"

3:53 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

A gem. I was reminded of Nirad C. Chaudhuri's article on travelling in a crowded bus in India that we studied during our Ist year BA, or was it pre-degree.

I showed your post to some of my friends. Saw them laughing out loud. Somehow, after reading this, I felt the English were truly lovable; truly tragic.

7:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are much too kind on us English, Chindu!

Oh, and you didn't mention our habit of apologising to people who bump into us...

9:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And you didn't mention our ability to laugh at ourselves!

Still laughing...

5:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was great fun to read your article. It was much enjoyed by my office crowd (mix of all--including english). You said no damage has been done to you being in England, alas, you seem to have inherited their sense of humor. But, it is a great article.

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hahah... fun read... very enjoyable..

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very true Indeed. Having experienced England the way of coming round about way raising you to the sky and then dropping you suddenly or the casutic barb in the sweetly said sentance making sense suddenly after 10 days is only close to what is being said here. It would be better to be fired or criticized brutally rather than postpone it to a point when it is too late and say...but amm I'm sorry thing didn't work out! Recollecting an act that was done wrongly months ago and bringing it to the conversation which for the whole session one considered pleasant and dropping you like a mashed potato is again very painful. If people are angry here they do not show it but may just
stop responding to you and say causally many months later putting an arm around youv'e got to move on sorry we cannot have you!

9:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

but they are still the most considerate people I have come across and atleast have some sense of manners and culture unlike the americans who are brash. It takes a long time to winover and englishman and more so to make conversation. My advice to Indians is break out of the asian circle as they are always there and learn to move with local people here and understand their mores.

9:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

never make a harsh comment behind some one's back or speak in your language if you find hamare log namely from the subcontinent who are omnicient. Nothing else drives an english man mad who frankly cannot understand what is being said. He/ she will never reprimand you but the impression of you is ruined and you will get back the barb with 10000 times more power in way zor ka jhatka halka sa lage but the jhataka is such that you cannot get up. be friendly and always honest. to lie or appear to be evading facts is something people here hate. In India a few abuses in Bombaiya will be allright but no one will tell you here. Always be careful.

9:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and one more thing how ever grave a situation no englishman will get up and set alarm bells ringing. It will be"sorted" out is the expression. Only when nothing can be done will help be called for.

9:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Chindu, reading your blog after AGES. Good to see that you are still going at them ;) ... so u're dont with your Phd now? Now you can finally come back to your BIG FAT Mumbai salary - the one you wrote about. :)
hope all's well with u ..


1:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious, you sum up the foibles of the English perfectly!!

9:12 PM  
Blogger Hornswoggler said...

I am very much liking the epilogue part of your posting especially sir.

6:43 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Thanks for giving me some proof to show my non-indian wife that indians find it rude to use words like 'please' and 'thank you'.

7:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for such a delightful deluge of stereotypes. Let us not forget that generalisation is the gateway to prejudice.

11:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very amusing

Some English/British slang

When we say "Ta" we don't mean tea, we mean "thank you".

A "boozer" or "local" is a pub.

The British Pound is called "a quid", "sterling" and "knicker".

We call the Germans "The Bosch", "The Hun" and "Jerries"

"Bollocks" is bad but "dog's bollocks" is good.

"You're having a giraffe" is slang for "you're having a laugh".

"Her indoors" is the wife as is "trouble and strife" in London slang.

In Bournemouth, "Grockles" are holiday tourists.

"Gordon Bennett!" means "Good god!" due to frustration.

If something costs an "Arm and a leg" then it is expensive.

If something is as "cheap as chips" then it is cheap.

A "fag" is a cigarette not the American term for a homosexual.

Our traditional enemy are the French or "Frogs" not the Germans.

A "quick half" in a pub is not half a pint of beer but usually means three pints and more.

A "boat race" is not Oxford v Cambridge in the rowing. It is a drinking competition.

"Oxbridge" is not a place, it means either Oxford or Cambrdige universities. A "red brick university" means one of the top universities like Oxford or Cambridge.

"Scousers" are from Liverpool. "Manks" are from Manchester. "Geordies" are from Newcastle. "Jocks" are from Scotland. "Paddies" are from Ireland. "Brummies" are from Birmingham. "A sassonack" is Scottish for an Englishman.

"The Smoke" or "The Big Smoke" is the old slang name for London.

"The City" means the square mile of the city of London (i.e. the financial district).

In London, "the manor" means the local area.

"Grab a granny" means to dance with an older woman.

"shake hands with the vicar" or or "have a slash" or "spend a penny" means to go toilet.
A "bog" or "kazi" is a toilet.

"Bottled out" means to loose your nerve.

"Ship shape and Bristol fashion" means to keep something tidy and clean.

"Bristols" and "boobs" are women's breasts.

A "pussy" is a cat.

A "mut" is a dog.

A "nag" is a horse.

"On the orses" or "on the nags" means horse racing as does "arse racing".

"The dogs" means greyhound racing.

A "flutter" is a bet.

"The high street" means the road where most of the shops are.

"The Beeb" or "Auntie Beeb" means the BBC.

The "rat race" is the stress of modern day living.

"Lager lout" is a drunk. "Chav" , "yob" and "hoodie" are troublesome young lads.

"Dunkirk spirit" means people should help each other and stick together.

"smarty pants" or "bright spark" means you are clever.

The police are often called "the old bill", "the rozzers", "the filth" or "the pigs".

A police car is a "jam sandwich".

American French Fries are not "chips".

"Three for a pound" at an open market means three pounds of fruit or vegetables for a pound coin.

"Beer" means dark brown British beer. "Lager" means light foreign beer.

Most English people cannot tell if visitors are from India, Pakistan or Bangladesh ( Sikhs are the exception ).

3:01 AM  
Blogger dalriada ecosse said...

I enjoyed this immensely.
Thought about starting one for my colonial brethren on this side of the pond...but it'd be a set of encyclopaedia not a blog.
They are quite different from each other (depending on Geographical/Historical/Socio-economic factors.)
...and don't get me started on the Latin American cultural...aie dios mio primo.
from Fiona...
a Scot living in the Southern U.S. Married to a Central American.

7:34 PM  
Blogger AiAiOh said...

Howlarious. Please write more Please
(taking a cue from yr advise on sandwiching what you request with Please, but couldn't get myself to type Please 5 times in a four word sentence)..

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still laughing!!!! Reminds me of the time I was first introduced to hubby's colleage. She says "Its absolutely wonderful to meet you!!!". I say..." from hubby)...thank you".

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utterly delicious.. I just wonder if that is really the case actually? you serious.. ? Please Would you please mind telling me please.. lol.. the post true???

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