Indian in England

Musings of a student

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The man I will murder

THERE'S a man I wish to kill. His name is God.

He’s a good guy, I am told. Great, in fact. Fair, and just, and all the rest.

I thought so too. For a long time. Then I wasn’t so sure.

He didn’t stand up to reason. Didn’t stand up when it counted. And when it didn’t, and he did, it was only after he claimed his bribe in blood.

My blood.

Perhaps he is old, he has arthritis, it’s difficult for him to stand. Perhaps he missed his cue. Perhaps, like in Bruce Almighty, he’s on holiday.

Fair enough. He deserves his break just like you and me. I can live with that.

What I can’t, and won’t, is this pretence.

That he’s great.

That he’s fair, and just.

Fair, he? Just, he? Not to me, not to mine.

That’s mine there, who he is trying to break, again and again and again. Mine there, whose smile – oh, what a smile! – he’s trying to rape.

That’s mine he has killed. Mine he killed the year before, and last year, and, now, this year – twice.

He’s my creation, mine to kill.

And I will.

I must.

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah ... doesnt sound positive. Hope the going is not too bad. - A

p.s: just curious. Why is god a Man?

7:07 AM  
Blogger Chindu said...

Anonymous: Yes, I know you. :-)

To answer your question, generic usage, and not to be construed as an anti-feminist gesture... Besides, it's better to attribute evil to a man, rather than a woman, don't you think? :-)

10:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have a point there. Better be a man than a woman :)

Take care.

-A

5:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a New Delhi based business journalist and need to get in touch with you at the earliest possible regarding a story I am on. Would you please be kind enough to leave your contact info, including, if possible, your landline/mobile number, on the following email id: aman dot malik at gmail dot com. Please consider this communication urgent.

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I seem to now empathize with your post. He seems to be claiming my life too.

-- A

8:29 AM  
Blogger Chindu said...

A: Um, now I am confused about your identity!

7:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chindu - Am the one and only anonymous :)

8:44 AM  
Blogger Chindu said...

A: *scratches my head* How about giving me a clue?

11:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

am one more anonymous here now :)

11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chindu, I feel I must ask just what it is which has gotten you so irate with God?

8:03 PM  
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7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

because life is shit.
and be it all the essential
pointlessness of life
.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you have the power of god
yet choose to let people die..
what goes around comes around
is untrue
for the good fall short
and the evil rise
the death of me is my demise
as sadness and sorrow the world permeate
god is lay hiding under his cape
with all the power and glory we give to him
yet having done nothing to help me
i decide god not to avail
but to die in haste amidst a sad world
our only hope a god
need i say more
we truly are sad lost and poor

4:30 PM  
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