Indian in England

Musings of a student

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Nice. Very nice

ART, or anything close to it, is completely wasted on me. That’s a known fact. Still I went to an art exhibition at Gallery 286 in London the other day.

I went because my friend Pearl John, the artist in question, promised me free orange juice and biscuits. Besides, she was using a bit of my text -- actually I borrowed it from someone who borrowed it from someone, but don’t let that bother you -- in one of her anti-war pieces, and I wanted to ensure it was showcased prominently.

Some of the holograms -- there’s something called holography out there, did you know? -- were quite colourful and exciting. I stroked my chin, looked at them from different angles, and said, “You combine text and visuals very effectively.” Pearl was very impressed and got me more orange juice.

I spent some time watching the artist. You need to be a good kisser to be a good artist. You have to be fast and be able to handle large traffic. In the three hours the private viewing lasted, Pearl dispensed at least 250 kisses: four kisses per person (two on arrival, two on departure), there were about 65 people, so you do the maths.

I also nosed around a bit, eavesdropping on the people who came to view art. It was very rewarding, and here are a few snippets of captured conversation…


AND the Artist stood by the door, powdered and polished and perfect, smiling and nodding and kissing, then smiling and nodding and kissing some more.

"Are we doing one or two?" said the Fly, offering a cheek.

"Always two," admonished the Artist, kissing him on one cheek, then the other. "That’s more arty."


MAN-in-Black walked into the cream-walled room with Lady Long-Skirt and seriously began viewing art.

"Lovely," said Lady Long-Skirt.

"Yes," said Man-in-Black, peering into the soul of a hologram. "Very personal."

"Very nice," said Lady Long-Skirt.

"Yes," said Man-in-Black. "Very nice."


"THAT'S all about her travel in America," said Man-in-Black.

"Yes, but what are those lines?" said Lady Long-Skirt.

"I think those are lights," said Man-in-Black. "Neon or something."

"In those colours?" said Other Woman.

"I think she photographed them from a car," said Man-in-Black. "Those are probably cars passing by. Or maybe lights. Neon or something."


"QUICK!" said Ms Pixie-Face. She had dark hair, long legs, and wore a black top. "Come here!"

"What?" said Mr Pixie-Face.

"Come here! It’s beautiful!"

"What?"

"Take a peek!" said Ms Pixie-Face, leaning over the windowsill to lift the cream curtains and reveal a slice of the wet green world outside. "Isn’t it nice?"


"WHAT'S this?" said Lady Long-Skirt.

"This is from the Internet," said Man-in-Black.

"Oh."

"This is a blog."

"Oh."

"A blog is short for web log."

"Oh."

"Yes. It’s like a diary."

"Oh, I wouldn’t know the first thing about Internet."


THE Fly paused by the stairs at a quizzical look from the In-House Girl.

"Just going upstairs,” he said, smiling.

"Excuse me?"

"Going upstairs," said the Fly. "To look at the stuff there."

"There isn’t any stuff upstairs. That’s private!"

"Oh," said the Fly, and flew away.


AND the Artist stood by the door, polished and polite and pleased, still smiling and nodding and kissing, then smiling and nodding and kissing some more.

"Thank you ever so much for coming," the Artist said, planting two more kisses. "I appreciate it."

Don’t be silly and so bloody English, thought the Fly. Aloud he said, "My pleasure."

23 Comments:

Blogger Rabin said...

Glad you've started writing again! Nice post!!! Keep em coming!

6:25 AM  
Anonymous Leela said...

You're back! :)

7:24 AM  
Blogger Chindu said...

Rabin: Thanks! Tried to check you out, but no blog there? Do we know each other?

Leela: Hey. Glad to be back. How's life that side? :-)

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Ph said...

I can do that. Now I need to find an 'Art' to exhibit. Small problem :P

1:43 AM  
Blogger Chindu said...

Oh, I am certain you are capable of wholesale kissing, Ph. Art, easy to do. Anything that people can't understand = art. :-)

9:49 AM  
Blogger jemgal said...

Art is just a kiss away?

12:59 PM  
Blogger ... said...

...any chance one can be considered borderline arty without dispensing kisses?
no?
ah, well... atleast now why no one thinks my squiggles are mordern art *sigh*
:)

...nice of you to have stopped by.. any chance we have blog-bumped before?

12:23 PM  
Anonymous The artist said...

Thank you for the um 'review' of the exhibition, much appreciated. I enjoyed hearing from the fly on the wall - a friend has just commented on your blog - only she sent it to me, rather than you...

"just finished The Picture of Dorian Gray and have been reading Wilde's debate about Art Imitating Life or Life Imitating Art. The stuff about the woman in the skirt commenting on the work made me laugh so much. It was straight out of Wilde!"
A classic blog then...thank you. :)

1:55 PM  
Blogger Roman said...

LOL

he's back!

6:34 PM  
Blogger ... said...

...any chance one can be considered borderline arty without dispensing kisses?
no?
ah, well... atleast now i KNOW why no one thinks my squiggles are mordern art *sigh*
:)

...nice of you to have stopped by.. any chance we have blog-bumped before?

9:05 PM  
Blogger Chindu said...

Artist: Anyday. Let me know when you are offering free orange juice and biscuits again. And, Artist's friend, thank you for the kind words!

Said: Go for the kiss, I say! And nope, don't think we have blog-bumped before... I think I found you link on one of my friend's site (can't remember who it was though; the price of popularity!)...

Roman: Good to be back, thank you!

6:32 PM  
Blogger Rabin said...

hey chindu, the link as far as I know is working :)

3:16 PM  
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All that we have heard, touched, smelt, tasted and seen are stored in the recesses of our minds. The subconscious mind holds on to this information until we need to recall it. For example when you were young your curiosity lead you to investigate your surroundings. When you approached a substance that was dangerous, such as fire, your parents or guardians would most likely have rebuked or scolded you if you ventured too near the flame. Perhaps you may even recall an incident when you were physically burned. Your subconscious mind then began to relate scolding (or pain) with the intense heat of the fire and would therefore feed the feelings of the scolding incident back to you whenever you got too close to fire again, thus acting as an early warning system.
This is the mechanism used by our brains to learn. It is also the same method employed by the mind in every situation. The subconscious mind has a tendency to emulate what it sees - it tends to replicate its environment. This is why so many people find themselves in similar relationships and situations that they saw their parents in while they were growing up. Most people also hold very strongly or similar views of their parents.
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